Friday, April 13, 2012

Tears won't dry

"Look to the mirror // What do you see? // Beneath the shadows // Hiding your face // I can see hatred // Consuming fear"
– Dreamtale; Tears

Oh yeah, I've spent the last two days crying, or, only one eye has. I don't know why; one eye just started running a race with my nose a few days ago. A mild flu or something, but it's exceptional for my eyes to react in such a way although they are generally quite wet, and tears escape my eyes very easily when I go to bed and press my head against a pillow. And out in the wind etc... And my eye is not sore, red or irritated, so I really don't know why, but it's damn frustrating to look weepy all the time! I noticed the issue yesterday morning after applying my regular heavy make-up, and I had trouble with it all the day. In the evening I had to find a good solution and I tried using Grimas make-up to draw very heavy lining on my upper lids, but it didn't save my looks. And today... Well, I knew I had better surrender.

I went to work wearing only very light makeup without bright eyeshadow or any eyeliner at all. And although I can easily leave my apartment without any makeup, I don't like it if some external factors determine whether I can wear makeup or not. But yeah, just one day during Easter I popped to a kiosk in the central marketplace without makeup, and it wasn't really a problem. But I just like draw something around my eyes! (A side note: the makeup products I use are not the most sensitive to melting or smudging. Even the eyeliner I generally use was advertised as being tear-resistant or something! But oh, I tell you; it's not. And Grimas didn't work either; my eye really is running SO much that absolutely nothing stays there now. Oh, I even tried some UDPP and light eyeshadow today. Nope.)

Only one thing made this agony a bit more bearable. Last night a friend and I went to a local club to see Dreamtale live (yes, again). I guess we both were slightly hesitant since it was Thursday and we both had to get up for work in the morning. Well, I live in the city center so I'm not dependent on public transport, but the gig began probably over an hour later than it had been announced, so well yeah... In fact Dreamtale was only a warm-up act, with Humangod being the main, but I was more interested in Dreamtale anyway. Had they started on time, I would have liked to stay there to see Humangod as well, they're interesting after all, but by the time Dreamtale were done, it was already only six hours to when my alarm would go off for the first time (=six hours and a half before I get up). Oh well, I pretty much ran home and knowing that it would be nothing but a waste of time to try to apply my regular makeup in the morning, I could sleep for another fifteen minutes. :D

I don't have photos of the gig, didn't feel like taking any. Well, the guys hadn't changed much from a few weeks back. The gig was particularly enjoyable though! Unlike the last time, they played each and every song I wished to hear! That said; it was worth the short night and feeling all sleepy.

Back onto my makeup. I feel a bit strange when I'm without makeup or wearing very light makeup like in that photo. I don't know what it is, but I feel somehow... Okay well, when I'm totally without makeup I feel that I look like a boy. Not a man, but a boy. With light makeup I feel that I just look old and tired when my face lacks contrast. However, I popped to a pharmacy today after work, to get something for the running nose, and the pharmacist was about to recommend one product to me which was only for people over 18. Then she actually had to ask if I'm old enough. Thank you my lady, you made my day. Being sleepy and slightly sick, I had a stronger feeling than usual that I looked like I was over thirty.

I've noticed a strange thing; I think I manage to babble quite a lot in my blog posts. It's very strange; I'm comparing my style of writing to what I used to do with my studies. I always wrote compact essays and such, but often got better grades than those with twice as much text. Back then I couldn't really prolong what I had got to say with useless words! It seems I'm capable of it nowadays.

This entry has probably turned out boring by now, so I will entertain you with a bit of art for both eyes and ears. At first a portrait which I finished... Hmm, a month ago I suppose, because I think I finished it four months to the day after my dog's death. Well, a portrait of her. I actually had a print made of it for my parents; it was sent straight to them so I haven't seen it yet, but they've received it already.

I don't have much to say about it, I just felt the need to immortalize her sweetness once more. It was made completely using Photoshop CS5.

And then, candy for yours ears. I already embedded a few Dreamtale songs in this blog post but you will get another one here. I was somewhat surprised they played this last night, but it was awesome to hear it!

And one more thing. Sad, sad news. I mentioned Freedom Call coming to my hometown in that same metalfest entry – their concert date was confirmed and quite soon also cancelled! The whole event where they were supposed to play got cancelled. I'm so very disappointed! :C So long!

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