Tears won't dry

"Look to the mirror // What do you see? // Beneath the shadows // Hiding your face // I can see hatred // Consuming fear"
– Dreamtale; Tears

Oh yeah, I've spent the last two days crying, or, only one eye has. I don't know why; one eye just started running a race with my nose a few days ago. A mild flu or something, but it's exceptional for my eyes to react in such a way although they are generally quite wet, and tears escape my eyes very easily when I go to bed and press my head against a pillow. And out in the wind etc... And my eye is not sore, red or irritated, so I really don't know why, but it's damn frustrating to look weepy all the time! I noticed the issue yesterday morning after applying my regular heavy make-up, and I had trouble with it all the day. In the evening I had to find a good solution and I tried using Grimas make-up to draw very heavy lining on my upper lids, but it didn't save my looks. And today... Well, I knew I had better surrender.

I went to work wearing only very light makeup without bright eyeshadow or any eyeliner at all. And although I can easily leave my apartment without any makeup, I don't like it if some external factors determine whether I can wear makeup or not. But yeah, just one day during Easter I popped to a kiosk in the central marketplace without makeup, and it wasn't really a problem. But I just like draw something around my eyes! (A side note: the makeup products I use are not the most sensitive to melting or smudging. Even the eyeliner I generally use was advertised as being tear-resistant or something! But oh, I tell you; it's not. And Grimas didn't work either; my eye really is running SO much that absolutely nothing stays there now. Oh, I even tried some UDPP and light eyeshadow today. Nope.)

Only one thing made this agony a bit more bearable. Last night a friend and I went to a local club to see Dreamtale live (yes, again). I guess we both were slightly hesitant since it was Thursday and we both had to get up for work in the morning. Well, I live in the city center so I'm not dependent on public transport, but the gig began probably over an hour later than it had been announced, so well yeah... In fact Dreamtale was only a warm-up act, with Humangod being the main, but I was more interested in Dreamtale anyway. Had they started on time, I would have liked to stay there to see Humangod as well, they're interesting after all, but by the time Dreamtale were done, it was already only six hours to when my alarm would go off for the first time (=six hours and a half before I get up). Oh well, I pretty much ran home and knowing that it would be nothing but a waste of time to try to apply my regular makeup in the morning, I could sleep for another fifteen minutes. :D

I don't have photos of the gig, didn't feel like taking any. Well, the guys hadn't changed much from a few weeks back. The gig was particularly enjoyable though! Unlike the last time, they played each and every song I wished to hear! That said; it was worth the short night and feeling all sleepy.

Back onto my makeup. I feel a bit strange when I'm without makeup or wearing very light makeup like in that photo. I don't know what it is, but I feel somehow... Okay well, when I'm totally without makeup I feel that I look like a boy. Not a man, but a boy. With light makeup I feel that I just look old and tired when my face lacks contrast. However, I popped to a pharmacy today after work, to get something for the running nose, and the pharmacist was about to recommend one product to me which was only for people over 18. Then she actually had to ask if I'm old enough. Thank you my lady, you made my day. Being sleepy and slightly sick, I had a stronger feeling than usual that I looked like I was over thirty.

I've noticed a strange thing; I think I manage to babble quite a lot in my blog posts. It's very strange; I'm comparing my style of writing to what I used to do with my studies. I always wrote compact essays and such, but often got better grades than those with twice as much text. Back then I couldn't really prolong what I had got to say with useless words! It seems I'm capable of it nowadays.

This entry has probably turned out boring by now, so I will entertain you with a bit of art for both eyes and ears. At first a portrait which I finished... Hmm, a month ago I suppose, because I think I finished it four months to the day after my dog's death. Well, a portrait of her. I actually had a print made of it for my parents; it was sent straight to them so I haven't seen it yet, but they've received it already.

I don't have much to say about it, I just felt the need to immortalize her sweetness once more. It was made completely using Photoshop CS5.

And then, candy for yours ears. I already embedded a few Dreamtale songs in this blog post but you will get another one here. I was somewhat surprised they played this last night, but it was awesome to hear it!

And one more thing. Sad, sad news. I mentioned Freedom Call coming to my hometown in that same metalfest entry – their concert date was confirmed and quite soon also cancelled! The whole event where they were supposed to play got cancelled. I'm so very disappointed! :C So long!

Let the record show

♫ Altaria – Ravenwing

Beware, my dear readers, I will shower you with photos I took of Emilie Autumn's show on Friday. I'll let the photos talk about the actual show and what happened in it, and I won't go into set list details or anything. It was nice to have a better camera on a gig for once, though it was still difficult to take photos; I had to raise my hands up high quite often; thus, the strange cropping in most photos. That's not exactly the right position for a photographer and works particularly badly in darkness. My arms were still bloody sore after the workout, which probably added to the trembling and resulted in many blurry photos after all. But still better than what my compact camera or cell phone would have managed!

I'm quite a cynical EA fan, I'm afraid – or at least a friend said so, and I'm not sure what to say about the concert... Oh well. I think Emilie is a true musical and lyrical genius. However, I cannot swallow the whole concept of what Emilie Autumn represents, and what being a wayward Victorian girl really is all about. But I cannot deny it; she's made quite a successful product of herself.

I saw her and the Bloody Crumpets live in 2009, and I must say... Friday's show was pretty much a déjà vu. Of course it wasn't identical; she had new songs to perform after all, but most of the elements that contributed to the visual part of the show were something I really had seen before. A huge illuminated canvas, a Venetian beak, a wheelchair, tea spitting, Rat Game... Trademarks or worn patterns? I think she's fallen into a rut. Especially with her mind-blowing release pace, she really hadn't renewed the show enough. I know the line between trademarks and, well, let's say those worn patterns is very fine. I also understand very well that her fans are looking forward to certain things – such as the infamous Rat Game – and it's fine, it's fun. However, trademarks can be incorporated into the show in new and creative ways. I mean, come on – three years since the last show, and I felt like I had already seen it.

I'm not saying I didn't like it. It was entertaining, and I liked hearing her new songs although I generally prefer hearing familiar songs played live. However, I didn't get to see anything new, and considering how big part of her show is based on visual aesthetics, I do think it's a pity. This is something I would be preaching to our clients (as I'm working in an advertising agency) – if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

But I will leave that issue for now. Onto the photos, with a bit of my club outfit at the very end! Enjoy. All photos are naturally © yours truly.

Captain Maggot came crowd-surfing at one point. I would have liked to take photos only, but I actually had to participate as otherwise I would have got a pirate boot in my face. :|

"Ratty ratty..."

The Rat Game

"Is it the hair?"

My outfit bonus: I had trouble deciding what to wear. I thought Emilie's concert would be about the best opportunity for me to put on the freakiest pieces of my wardrobe – I had been planning something like this ever since I heard of the concert last year. I had thought I could wear something light and nice, it would be April after all! However, the extreme late frost ruined my plans. I still considered putting on some hotpants, but in the end I didn't; the first pair I considered turned out to have approximately six holes in the crotch while the other pair just made me feel too... indecent. Seriously, I wouldn't have thought I could feel like that about pants. I considered stripey black and white thighs, I considered mismatched socks... And eventually got a feeling I've grown out of all that stuff. :/ And thus, I ended up with this;

The outfit is pretty much the definition of "lazy". Or "comfortable". I opted for my dearest pinstripe corset – because it is comfortable while my other corsets can truly hurt. I opted for such shoes which don't have the highest heels – just because the club was at the opposite end of the city center and I knew the roads would be slippery, and it'd be the most amusing way back home at night wearing something else. And I would have liked to try doing something nice to my hair, such as Victory rolls, but uh-oh... Too sore arms, couldn't have held them up long enough to complete a complicated hairdo. (And they hurt like hell still.)

So long!

P.S: That club is the worst concert venue I know, seriously. I've always hated it. The architecture is horrible, there are huge pillars very close to the stage and although we were standing pretty much in the middle, we couldn't see everything! The pillars are actually blocking most people's view in most directions. D'oh. They might not be so troublesome in the first row, but everywhere else, yeah. And I've seen quite many bands live there. Even Emilie made fun of this feature, introducing one pole close to the stage after introducing the Bloody Crumpets.

We come in peace, kind of

Iron Sky is out! The movie premiere was on April 4th, and I went to see it with a bunch of friends. Yeah, we had all been looking forward to it. In the summer of 2009 I and one of those friends were listening to a presentation given by the filmmakers, introducing their plans, and back then we wouldn't probably have believed that in less than three years we would actually be queuing to a movie hall to see it.

So why exactly have I been so interested in a sci-fi comedy to begin with? That's exceptional of me, I'm not exactly a sci-fi geek (it's enjoyable in small portions) and I'm certainly not into comedies that much! But well, the movie is hailing from my hometown. Although the production doesn't seem that "Finnish", being a co-production with Germany and Australia, while the film is in English and German, it's been interesting to take peeks at what some people I know have been working on. Had I been more daring (=talented, or had I had more self-confidence), I could have applied for a trainee post in the graphics department of the production as well.

I'm going to say a few things now, but don't worry – there will be no spoilers.

I thought the movie was somehow surprisingly fast-paced. Some say the actual plot – a Nazi community on the dark side of the Moon, a refugee camp after World War II, intent on returning to Earth – was dealt with too lightly, as if they hadn't made the most out of the actual idea. I can understand what they mean very well, but somehow that didn't bother me. It was entertaining, not deep and thought-provoking. Perhaps logic failed here and there – but if one is not looking for a coherent sci-fi film but remembers this one is a comedy piece, I would expect them to like it, at least a bit. I really liked the style of humor in the movie – I'm very picky after all, easily condemning entertainment to be too naive, stupid or what not. I'm not the easiest person to genuinely amuse.

Visually the movie was stunning, the Moon Nazi base was simply awesome. And if you're into uniforms, male or female, you might want to watch it just to be inspired by Klaus Adler or Renate Richter's attire.

How about my own outfit? I guess someone in the social media encouraged everyone to really dress up for the premiere, so I decided to...do it? Alright well, my outfit was a very strange mix of casual and formal, sloppy and elegant, put together after a long and exhausting day at work. I didn't have much time either.

I recently bought a black satin waist corset, second-hand, because I had thought I needed one – partly because I've never owned a simple black corset, and partly because my pinstripe one is slowly coming to the end of its road – or at least the bones are so twisted already... I paired it with a narrow skirt (wouldn't exactly call that a pencil skirt though), suspenders and lace gloves + a grey T-shirt. :| Okay well, I wouldn't have accepted just any T-shirt, but what I wanted was a shirt with some other colour but black. I realized I really don't have many options. Seriously. That's not particularly uniform-like, not even close to being formal, but my most formal button-up shirt with some uniform-inspired details is, well... Well, I've been laundry-fighting it for quite a while. I'm not sure if I can save that piece anymore. :/ Might need a few new button-up shirts, at the moment I have none that I could wear.

Otherwise I'm exhausted; the movie ended quite late, I had work on the following day, and what a long day it turned out to be! I had such an extreme workout right after work – so extreme that my muscles are probably crying blood now more than ever before (do bruises actually count as "muscles crying blood"? I have several in my legs). After the workout which almost killed me I had promised to see a cover band play Iron Maiden. The band started over an hour late, which meant my day was very long, and I was so exhausted. Now I've probably paid back a part of my sleep debt, but well, no rest for the wicked: It's Emilie Autumn time tonight! Today I'm actually intent on taking my SLR camera to the club, so I hope I can provide you with some good quality concert photos later! So long and happy Easter!