Urban Decay ordeal

♫ Sonata Arctica – Mary-Lou

Oh my, let's talk about cosmetics for a change. I rarely blog about make-up since I don't have much to say, really. I'm neither innovative nor experimental with make-up and I feel my creativity is confined by this skin I was blessed to have. Which properly leads me to the subject...

I had been wondering how I could possibly keep eyeliner from melting away during the day... And a few years ago I found a relatively good solution; Grimas eyeshadow. Sounds a bit strange, I suppose – now, if you look back on the photos you've seen of me in my blog, you can probably notice that I am indeed wearing bright pink eyeshadow pretty much all the time. Well, I do like the looks a lot, but the fact that it stays so damn well without any special eye make-up base and also keeps eyeliner from melting and fading has been one of the most important reasons for me to keep wearing it daily – in other words, at work as well. I love Grimas products because they have a lot of pigment too, and won't really remarkably fade with time. And since I've been suffering from a nasty acne ever since I was, uh-oh, ten, I think subtle shades wouldn't look good on my face. Getting creative with make-up requires a relatively flawless skin which I certainly don't have.

Anyway, although I hadn't got totally fed up with my trademark looks, I wanted to solve my eternal problem; how to wear eyeliner without any Grimas eyeshadow and prevent it from melting? The problem may seem quite easy to solve for all of you with a normal skin, but for someone like me, whose skin is particularly oily, there are much less functioning solutions! And let's put it this way; I haven't yet encountered a single make-up primer product (foundation, powder, anti-shine) which would retain the matte finish they eagerly promise. (Covering the whole face with Grimas eyeshadow might work, though.) I highly doubted some eyeshadow primer potion would work on my oily eyelids.

The package is quite pretty!

However, I read reviews of Urban Decay eyeshadow primer potion in various beauty blogs and decided to give it a try even though I considered it pricey in case it would turn out to be just as useless as most products for me. So far, I've tried it thrice, so it's been through these ordeals:

Case #1
• Make-up applied in a hurry, used UDPP underneath some Gosh eyeliner
• Had an appointment with a doctor, went to work, had a dance lesson
• Normal winter weather; no extreme frost or snowfall
Results; A light trail of eyeliner in the lid furrow of my right eye, which is exactly what I had been hoping to avoid. The eyelid in the right eye is the problem, my left eyelid is slightly different and make-up doesn't melt so easily on it. Hence, I was disappointed.

Case #2
• Make-up applied with time, used UPDD, Grimas eyeshadow and Gosh eyeliner
• Stared at the TV screen for hours, which often makes eyes more tired and thus, make-up more vulnerable to flaws. Also, slept with the make-up on!
Results; Noticed how eyeshadow was getting slightly lumpy (before I went to sleep), but nothing too bad. Make-up hadn't melted by the time I woke up. However, I've done the same without UPDD, and most of the time Grimas eyeshadow alone works. I've had it melt too, but it occurs rarely. Hence, I wasn't convinced.

Case #3
• Make-up applied rather quickly, UDPP and Gosh eyeliner
• A normal day at work, a bit of exercise after work.
Results; Nothing suspicious in the eyelid furrows – yay! A bit of melting in the inner corner of the right eye, but I can forgive that. Maybe I didn't even apply the primer potion properly there. Hence, I'm getting convinced! Maybe UDPP is the miraculous product everyone has been praising!

Make-up after work, case #3. It's there... there, where it should be! And it seems I can be slightly more creative again, trusting my make-up just might not melt after all if I decide to go without my trusted Grimas eyeshadows. I would be more comfortable experimenting with lipsticks without a strong and bright eye make-up, so... It's about the time I learn to accentuate my lips for a change! So long!

Zombie Fitness

♫ Lady Gaga – So happy I could die

I've been following the Bat Fit challenge with some interest ever since it began, yet I haven't participated in it at all. I've read related posts in several blogs and considered joining, but well... I don't know. However, I haven't been totally inefficient; I've tried some wholly new physical things, enjoyed them, and well... I've been developing and stretching muscles as I want to become more wiry and supple than I've ever been. (But that's a poor goal. I've never been supple – not even when I was a child. Thus, that mission is probably even too easy to accomplish!)

Anyway, I found something that might be of interest to some of my readers. A game called Zombies, Run! It will be released for iOS and Android phones, and it obviously tries to take basic jogging to a whole new level! And no doubt it does if you'll be hearing hungry groans following on your track. That seems very interesting! I wouldn't preorder the game yet, though – I want to get to know more about the actual gameplay part of it, and I want to read some reviews before spending $20.

Images © Six to Start

Obviously the gameplay mechanics include jogging and automatically experiencing things on the way, collecting items and such. Once at home, those items should be put in good use in the game world. The concept sounds intriguing. Looking forward to the release! So long!

April goodies!

♫ Verjnuarmu – Kuuvven sylen syvyyvessä

Recently, I realized quite a funny thing; I noticed I am looking forward to the release dates of some movies and TV shows, which is quite exceptional for me. Even more so, since they are not animations! ...yet not exactly realistic portrayals of this world either, but that's another thing.

The Raven
This movie just sounds way too good! I suppose I'm not the only avid Edgar Allan Poe fan who's looking forward to this movie, yet I know it could always be a major disappointment too. The director is James McTeigue and the movie is starring John Cusack as Poe himself. (Some Poe fans have already got upset because of that.)

"A fictionalized account of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe's life, in which the poet pursues a serial killer whose murders mirror those in the writer's stories."

The US release date is April 27th, so... I'm not sure when it will hit the theaters in Finland. It seems it doesn't have a world premiere date.

Click here to watch the trailer! I think it looked good, does anyone agree with me?

Iron Sky
Almost here! Less than a month left before the tour with sneak previews begins in Finland and it will hit the theaters some time in spring (the beginning of April in Finnkino theaters in Finland)! I heard about this movie for the first time in the summer of 2009 when a panel discussion type of event related to it was held as a part of Lumous Gothic Festival. Later, I got to hear about it a lot at school – and I would have had a theoretical chance to end up as part of the graphics crew, but practically, well, that's not the type of stuff I do. I never started practicing 3d graphics seriously. Anyway, I know a few people who are part of the crew.

The plot in brief: After World War II, nazis fled to the dark side of the Moon and set up a military base there. In 2018 their descendants return to the Earth.

I have contradictory feelings about sci-fi; it can be interesting for sure, but many sci-fi themes don't interest me by default. Space is one of those themes which doesn't get me immediately excited, yet I was a Star Wars fan as a kid... Thus, I'm quite sure I wouldn't be looking forward to this movie this much if its origin wasn't in my hometown. However – it's an international production, and its languages are English and German.

Click here to see the trailer!

Game of Thrones Season 2
April 1st! Well, maybe not for me, gotta wait longer and figure out how I am going to watch it, but anyway; a person like me, who rarely watches TV series (and with "rarely" I mean that I've barely seen a single episode of any popular TV series you could come up with) fell in love with this one last summer! It's an HBO production, and a very good quality series in my opinion.

Haven't even heard of it? Well, it's based on George R. R. Martin's fantasy novel series A Song of Ice and Fire. Does fantasy genre make you shiver of disgust? Well, I know people who are not particularly fond of fantasy, but who loved this series nevertheless!

Click for a trailer!

I will most likely write more about those movies once I've seen them. And then, well, I haven't yet written about the first season of Game of Thrones. I will probably make a more elaborate post of it as well, some time in the future. These were just interesting sneak peaks of the things I'm looking forward to! So long!

Monthly Homework Assignment: "I Forgot I Even Own This!"

I've been into blogging challenges lately, or perhaps I've merely been too lazy to come up with some topics of my own? Nah, not really, and this is only my second challenge this year.

Le Professeur Gothique urged us to delve into our wardrobes and find something we had probably forgotten we even own, or something we haven't worn in ages. Sounds interesting!



Some wannabe-creative photo editing included, since all these pieces are black, and there are no hues to see.

"And if one day she comes to you

Drink deeply from her words so wise

Take courage from her

As your prize

And say hello for me"

– Uriah Heep

These clothes are ten years old, and I've probably worn them last roughly eight years ago – cannot remember for sure though, but for so many years I didn't consider them my style, or... I'm not even sure why. Somehow, thinking of the days when I wore them, I can see a baby bat I probably still never was. After all, I don't consider myself an adult bat now.

Although the mesh bolero and the long skirt – which has a very long slit on the left side, up to the seam you can see at the hips – have nothing in common – except for the fact they were both purchased in Greece during the same vacation, I've mostly worn them together. At least I cannot remember ever wearing the bolero separately. The top I have in the lower photo is also a part of the original set, but it's been in use for all these years. The necklace, well... It was bought a few months after the clothes. I've tried to keep using it as well, and I actually wore it as a part of one slightly deathrock-inspired outfit about a month ago (I can probably post photos of this later). However, it took my neck several weeks to recover from that evening. :| I'm allergic to it, and I don't know why – it was supposed to be nickel-free.

The reason why I quoted Lady in Black for this outfit is that I got to hear such comments back then, ten years ago. Whether I was a lady is another thing...

For some time now, I've been considering wearing these clothes again. Haven't yet found an event which would have been screaming for some elegant gothic romance. And by the way, isn't the detail in the skirt nice? You cannot see it well, but there's a panel of different fabric, sewn asymmetrically, at the very top of the skirt. And some lace too!

"And we got no principles

And we got no innocence

We can't even think of a word that rhymes"

– Alice Cooper

Offering amusement with stupid expressions!

One dress can barely be considered an outfit, but anyway, I couldn't come up with shoes for this yet, and since the straps have some nice buckles on the back, I wouldn't want to hide them with a bolero or anything, and I wouldn't like to wear any top underneath, and well... I think it's a nice piece in its own right. I've only worn this once – when I graduated from high school, and hence the quote. And damn, I have no idea why I haven't worn this! Maybe because I opt for a corset so often when I'm about to party these days...

So yeah, such secrets in my closets. It was fun making this post anyway. :D And oh my – I've got so many new readers, I'm... surprised? Welcome aboard, everyone! So long!

Thank you, kind sirs

♫ Emilie Autumn – Gothic Lolita

I had hard time trying to decide whether I should ever write this blog post or not. After all, I'm not quite sure who I'm even writing to. I doubt my blog audience disagrees with me much on the issue...

However, certain incidents have made me ponder over the issue so much lately... And although my blog is not supposed to be for ranting let alone remarkably personal issues, I figured I could tie the topic to such things that are interesting in other ways... And more related to my blog. So well, now you'll get to read something very exceptional written by a person who is reluctant to comment on humane issues and who is not openly feminist.

"The kind of murder where nobody dies
But I don't suppose you'd understand"
– Emilie Autumn

Maybe a week or two ago I happened to come across a piece of news on an online news site; a 16-year-old girl had been raped in a bus. Not many details were available, but that's not relevant. Faceless pieces of news rarely stir up strong emotions in me after all, and I still wonder why I clicked the link in the first place.
However, I happened to read something else too. Readers' comments on the article. Only then did my blood begin to boil.
There were several, or let's say, a lot of similar comments, and I'm not citing any of them word for word, but the general style was:
"How is it possible to get raped in a bus?"
"That cannot possibly be true, not in a bus."
"Why didn't she scream or ask for help?"
"If she really didn't get her mouth open in a bus, she can only blame herself for what happened."

Little do they know.

Those people who have never experienced rape, abuse or sexual harassment should never give advice to those who have.

Those people whose sexuality has never been violated can barely imagine what such is like.

Those people who commented on the article were clearly thinking of violence in general, and typical reactions of a victim who's trying to run for their life, descriptively speaking. And well, although I'm not a psychologist, I guess protecting one's life is a very primitive reaction, driven by very primitive instincts. However, most cases of sexual violence are not threatening the victim's life. When people think of rape, they are often imagining a woman walking through a dark alley when a stranger violently attacks them and so on... But a minority of rapes are such.

Sexual violence can hardly be compared to physical violence in general. It rarely leaves victims as physically injured as a knife attack would. The worst injuries are mental.

Those who commented on the article kept wondering how come the girl did not fight back and indeed get alarmed enough to catch the attention of the other passengers or the bus driver. Again, they're trying to generalize sexual violence to be like any other type of violence. I wonder if they have ever heard the 'P' word, which is five letters long, has N in the middle and I following N. No, it's not what crossed your minds first. It's "panic".

"If I had been in that situation, I would have stood up immediately and screamed at the top of my lungs, telling the man to keep his dirty hands off me." A-ha, that would have been wise too. Good for you if you know how you would act in an unexpected situation. I mean, honestly, of course that would be a smart move. Of course no one should tolerate sexual harassment.

However, sexual violence can have the exactly opposite effect as well.
Have these people ever heard rape or abuse victims talking about their experience? Ever heard them saying things like "I was so ashamed", "I felt so dirty" etc?
I'm still no psychologist, haven't carried out research on the topic, but I still dare to claim that those are quite... common feelings. Shame, embarrassment, humiliation... Being dirty, being at fault.

Now, doesn't it make sense? If someone is violating your sexuality, humiliating you... Would you want to add to your humiliation by catching the attention of passers-by? We can say that in order to stop the criminal act, the shame should be ignored and the victim should at least try to get help at once. But do those people think it is easy?

I dare to say that very many cases of sexual violence could have been avoided, or their continuity halted, if the victim had spoken out, acted, defended themselves with violence etc... But the thing is, it is very difficult. Not just for children, but also for grown-ups. Anyone. Those experiences are potentially so humiliating to their victims that they would rather remain silent, hoping no one would ever find out. And even if the very crime happened in public... Well, panic doesn't always lead to fighting like a little animal. It affects people in different ways, totally freezing others, especially in situations which make them feel somehow exposed, vulnerable... "I wish he would stop, I wish this would be over soon, I wish those people wouldn't notice."

But, now, does sexual violence become less of a crime if the victim remains silent and refrains from actively defending themselves? Hell no. Sexual violence, no matter the type, is always solely up to the abuser. It's their choice whether to touch or not to touch. If the victim is drunk or dressed like a slut, it doesn't signify permission.

Never blame the victim. Not even for being unable to ask for help.
Lack of active opposition doesn't equal consent. However, a person with normal social skills should easily recognize reluctance. It means, "hands off".

I truly feel sorry for the girl. I can imagine how she keeps blaming herself for what happened, wondering what she did wrong and thinking how she's so very dirty now. And even though this one case could always have been a false denunciation, such things do happen for real. In private and in public.

"Thank you, kind sirs
You've made me what I am today
A bundle of broken nerves
A mouthful of words I'm still afraid to say"
– Emilie Autumn

Recovery processes after sexual violence are also individual. Maybe some can soon shrug it off, others are traumatized for years or lifetimes. However, common is the fact that they're all victims, not the ones to blame.

Inspired, I drew something the other day (or to be precise, I spent a few days on the drawing). I had wanted to practice digital drawing and especially coloring, and bare human skin was technically a good way to start. Yet I rarely draw anything – or make pictures of some other kind – without some kind of a background story or some emotions attached. Things going around in my head resulted in this drawing, made using Photoshop CS5:

Consequently, I named the drawing "Thank you kind sirs", with respect to Emilie Autumn's song "Gothic Lolita". The song itself is hardly my favorite EA song, not at all, but I truly like its lyrics – especially those lines I cited last. Emilie has sung about sexual violence with subtle hints here and there, having experienced it herself. I think she knows what she's talking about.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I'm writing about this in a blog which is supposed to be about creativity and lifestyle. Perhaps in order to give an introduction to my drawing? Well that's a lot of words when images are supposed to speak. I'm not sure if I said all the relevant points I had in mind... But like I said, I doubt my rant reaches the right audience here, but perhaps it doesn't matter. I'm not the type to speak out, really... Or indeed. Guess that's my fault.

"But ruffles and laces
And candy sweet faces
Directed your furtive hand
I perfectly understand
So it's my fault?"

Emilie Autumn's Fight Like a Girl tour is coming to my hometown in April. I already got a ticket, anyone else coming?

P.S: The drawing has a very subtle and unmentioned connection to Emilie Autumn. Can anyone guess what it is?
P.P.S: Although I spent several days working on this post, I finished and proof-read it at night, being tired, so please excuse me...